Posted by Jeannie Hannemann, Founder of Elizabeth Ministry (69.23.108.17) on November 13, 2004 at 21:24:02:
In Reply to: Re: Miscarriage posted by Carol Anheier, Elizabeth Ministry International on October 28, 2004 at 21:09:22:
Dear Michelle and Sean, First, let me express my sorrow. Then let me express my encouragement. Your story is repeated over and over across our world. Couples are beginning to realize that they have a right to bury their precious babies that die through miscarriage. When I first started to encourage burials, I discovered there were not proper burial vessels for miscarried babies. (Interestingly enough, our society has caskets for parakeets that die, but not unborn babies!) So, Elizabeth Ministry International has created a variety of proper burial vessels in various sizes and style. One of our burial vessels is made of the proper material to be considered a casket/vault combination...even in the state of Florida, which is very strict on burials. This same burial vessel can be given to a doctor who is doing a D&C and the babies remains placed in the vessel, sealed with the sealent included in the vessel purchase, and be given to the parent's for proper burial in sacred ground. I share this information in hopes that you will pass it on to others. Please join us in spreading this much needed response to the proper respectful way to handle the precious remains of God's little ones. Know that I will keep you in my prayers. Please tell your priest that we want to thank him on behalf of Elizabeth Ministry for his efforts as well. Blessings, Jeannie Hannemann, Founder of Elizabeth Ministry
: : At my 10 week check up on Monday, October 4, 2004, I discovered that I was miscarrying my identical twin babies. They were monoaminiotic twins which means they shared the same sac and placenta. This type of pregnancy ends in miscarriage 50-75% of the time. My husband Sean and I were devastated. I knew right away that I had to bury my babies in holy ground. I told my doctors that I wanted my babies for burial and not to be picked apart by pathology and tossed like medical waste. I was constantly told that they were "just blobs of tissue". These were my babies! They were my babies from the moment they were conceived. I was constantly arguing over the value of their life, but it fell on deaf ears. I immediately sought counsel from the priest who married Sean and I. Fr. Stan said that we had every right to request our babies for burial and to be prepared for a struggle with the medical community. The next day at my D & C surgery, I was battling the hospital staff and my doctors over the right to have my babies' bodies for burial. Everyone thought I was nuts. After a much drawn out struggle, the hospital agreed to let me take my babies. I hadn't battled so hard for the principles of my faith like that ever! I never backed down even when the "experts" wanted me to. If you or anyone you know has to deal with miscarriage, know that you have every right to keep your baby(ies) even though the medical establishment will have you believe otherwise. Luckily for us, our pastor Fr. Bruce found out about our situation and showed up at the hospital, ready to help us educate the doctors and medical staff about the value of human life. After the surgery, Fr. Bruce helped minister to Sean and I.
: : We buried our babies, Jordan and Jamie, at Good Shepherd Cemetery in Huntington Beach, CA on Thursday, October 14th. We now have two precious angels watching over us in heaven. That helps give us much comfort and peace.
: : It's interesting to note that our sad experience occurred during the month of October which is Respect Life month. This experience has help make me stronger and give me peace that I hadn't felt in a while. It has also emboldened me to do God's work through Elizabeth Ministry which a friend told me about right after my miscarriage.
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: : FYI: From this experience I learned that if you miscarry your baby(ies) at less than 20 weeks, you can bypass the mortuary and go straight to the cemetery and have your child(ren) buried in holy ground without a plot, vault, or grave marker for a very low price. (My cemetery charges $20.00) You could also choose to buy a plot, vault, and grave marker and pay for services starting at $700.00. If your baby(ies) are over 20 weeks, they need to be handled by a mortuary and cemetery. I had to learn all this the hard way. Hopefully this info will help people out there.
: Dear Michelle,
: Your letter gripped my heart first with saddness for you, then with "yes, woman you standup for your rights" and then with the knowing that women need to be educated as to what their rights are when they experience a miscarriage.
: Twenty years ago when I delivered a stillborn baby girl at five months there was never anything said regarding burying my baby girl and I did't know enough to ask. This is partly why I volunteer at Elizabeth Ministry. You are a very strong woman Michelle and though you have suffered greatly through this experience God will use it for good in the future. I will continue to pray for your healing and that God will bring you comfort and pregnancys in the future if that is what you want. May the peace of Jesus be with you.
: Carol Anheier