Posted by Michelle Torena (66.74.147.198) on October 18, 2004 at 02:06:59:
At my 10 week check up on Monday, October 4, 2004, I discovered that I was miscarrying my identical twin babies. They were monoaminiotic twins which means they shared the same sac and placenta. This type of pregnancy ends in miscarriage 50-75% of the time. My husband Sean and I were devastated. I knew right away that I had to bury my babies in holy ground. I told my doctors that I wanted my babies for burial and not to be picked apart by pathology and tossed like medical waste. I was constantly told that they were "just blobs of tissue". These were my babies! They were my babies from the moment they were conceived. I was constantly arguing over the value of their life, but it fell on deaf ears. I immediately sought counsel from the priest who married Sean and I. Fr. Stan said that we had every right to request our babies for burial and to be prepared for a struggle with the medical community. The next day at my D & C surgery, I was battling the hospital staff and my doctors over the right to have my babies' bodies for burial. Everyone thought I was nuts. After a much drawn out struggle, the hospital agreed to let me take my babies. I hadn't battled so hard for the principles of my faith like that ever! I never backed down even when the "experts" wanted me to. If you or anyone you know has to deal with miscarriage, know that you have every right to keep your baby(ies) even though the medical establishment will have you believe otherwise. Luckily for us, our pastor Fr. Bruce found out about our situation and showed up at the hospital, ready to help us educate the doctors and medical staff about the value of human life. After the surgery, Fr. Bruce helped minister to Sean and I.
We buried our babies, Jordan and Jamie, at Good Shepherd Cemetery in Huntington Beach, CA on Thursday, October 14th. We now have two precious angels watching over us in heaven. That helps give us much comfort and peace.
It's interesting to note that our sad experience occurred during the month of October which is Respect Life month. This experience has help make me stronger and give me peace that I hadn't felt in a while. It has also emboldened me to do God's work through Elizabeth Ministry which a friend told me about right after my miscarriage.
FYI: From this experience I learned that if you miscarry your baby(ies) at less than 20 weeks, you can bypass the mortuary and go straight to the cemetery and have your child(ren) buried in holy ground without a plot, vault, or grave marker for a very low price. (My cemetery charges $20.00) You could also choose to buy a plot, vault, and grave marker and pay for services starting at $700.00. If your baby(ies) are over 20 weeks, they need to be handled by a mortuary and cemetery. I had to learn all this the hard way. Hopefully this info will help people out there.