 |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |
 |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |
Fertility and Infertility
By Jeannie Hannemann, M.A., Director, Elizabeth Ministry International
In the book of Genesis, we find God’s first commandment to humankind:"Be fruitful and multiply. . ." (Genesis 1:28) It
appears that God infused this commandment to procreate into the fiber of our beings. It seems to be written in our hearts,
dreamed of in our minds, ached for in our bodies, and yearned for in our spirits. Thus, when a couple is unable to have children,
it causes great pain emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually. The feelings of emptiness and loss are overwhelming.
The search for reasons and remedies becomes a relentless passion. Doctors, procedures, the time, the cost, the hope, and the
hurt are constant companions on the lonely road walked by couples searching for the destination of parenthood.
...One out of every five couples in America suffers from infertility problems
Statistics tell us that couples do not walk this road alone. According to the United States Centers for Disease Control, one out of
every five couples in America suffers from infertility problems. This means in the United States, 7.3 million women and their
partners, of childbearing years, are infertile. Infertility affects the male or female reproductive system with almost equal
frequency. Infertility affects people from every racial, ethnic, religious and socioeconomic level.
Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive within one year of trying, or not being able to carry a child to live birth.
Infertility may occur in a couple’s first attempts to bring a child into the world, or as secondary infertility when they have
successfully given birth before, but are not able to do so again. Women who are able to get pregnant, but have miscarriages, are
also said to be infertile.
Keep in mind that there are as many roads to resolving infertility as there are infertile couples to travel them. The array of
options and medical interventions for a couple facing fertility challenges can be confusing and hazardous. Each route brings
many ethical, moral, spiritual, emotional, and physical ramifications. It is important to plan carefully to avoid the potholes and
ensure a safe trip.
Start By Becoming Informed
Learning basic infertility information can put you on the road to further discovery. Contact a Natural Family Planning
specialist in your area who can help you identify the optimum time for conception. Familiarize yourself with infertility
treatment options. Couples who learn about various diagnostic tests, procedures, and medications are better able to make
informed decisions.
Get In Touch With Your Emotions
It is important to realize that infertility is more than just a physical condition. It also involves many emotional issues such as
intense feelings of anger, anxiety, frustration, helplessness, loneliness, grief, envy, and even depression. All these emotions can
be debilitating if you don’t face them and work to counteract them. You may want to seek support from a professional
counselor. Through counseling you can clarify your priorities, improve self concept and your coping skills.
Stay Connected To Your Spouse
Coping with the uncertainties of infertility, the roller coaster of emotions, the multitude of medical decisions and moral
concerns is challenging even for the strongest marriages. Infertility often causes lifestyle changes, reordering of priorities,
financial problems, intimacy issues, physical discomfort, career disruption, problems with relatives, and isolation from friends.
Since the stress of infertility can place a strain on your relationship, look for ways to nurture your marriage and make your
spouse your top priority.
Maintain Your Social Life
Certain events in everyday life may become difficult. The birth of a friend’s baby or even seeing a pregnant stranger can bring
on a flood of painful feelings. Holidays often seem to focus on children, and Mother’s Day or Father’s Day can be difficult.
Social functions like baby showers or children’s birthday parties are hard to attend. Many people struggling with infertility
problems find it hard to attend religious services, especially ones where there will be baptisms.
Many infertile couples try to navigate the twists and turns on the journey to parenthood without support. Seek out an infertility
support group to avoid isolation. Since the number of people with infertility problems is high, you may be amazed at the support
that is available.
Prepare a Response To Insensitive Comments
Those who struggle with infertility truly suffer greater physical, emotional, marital, and spiritual pain than most people can
imagine. Many parents of adult married children do not realize the pain caused by their questions and prods to conceive
grandchildren. Insensitive comments by family, friends and strangers can inflict deep wounds. Prepare a well rehearsed
response. You could take the direct approach and say, “We want children, but are having trouble. We are seeing a specialist and
ask for your prayers. We prefer not to talk about it.”
Make Important Decisions and Create A Plan
Construct an overall plan so you know where you are and where you’re headed. Start with the fact that you want to be parents.
Then ask what you are willing to do to make it happen. Make decisions that take into consideration your moral principles,
family building objectives, money, age and need for control. Find a doctor who agrees with your plan and can help. Be assertive
in stating what you want and do not want to do. You have the right to make your own decisions about treatment.
Begin by an honest acknowledgment of your feelings and the medical realities. You and your spouse are different people. You
will have different styles, feelings, attitudes and desires. Sharing your perspectives will help you decide which paths to take.
Sharing the turmoil of infertility will deepen your commitment to each other, whether you eventually give birth to a child, raise
a foster child, adopt a child, or don’t raise a child and spend time serving the broader community.
Answer these questions to help you make your plan.
Respect For The Sacredness of Life and Marriage
Couples dealing with infertility are often led step by step down a path that may possibly create life. However, many assistedreproduction technologies also cause the destruction of human life. This fact is seldom explained to a couple before the various
procedures begin.
Marital stress from the mood swings caused by some fertility drugs can tear apart a marriage that is already stressed from the
anxieties of infertility. Tension between spouses and fear of blame, if infertility can be traced clearly to one partner, can be
devastating for a couple. Medical practices that undermine the biological, psychological, and moral bonds of marriage, or have
the potential to destroy life, need to be avoided.
Use Caution
Couples are sometimes lured to assisted reproduction technology without investigating other options. The experience of
infertility has become politicized as scientists, medical professionals, and potential parents confront society’s mores and
religious perspectives. The wisdom of past generations is untapped as couples are encouraged to make these major life decisions
with little guidance.
Seek Spiritual Comfort and Wisdom
There are many questionable happenings on the road that scientists are paving for those suffering infertility. As reproductive
technology blazes trails through uncharted land, we are at a moral crossroads. First, seek God’s intervention before you embark
on this challenging path.
Pastoral support and care can offer comfort and helpful perspectives. Discuss options with your pastor, partake in blessing
rituals, learn religious teachings, and evaluate your options in light of this information. Seek out faith based support groups,
mentoring and spiritual direction. The faith community cannot take away your tears, but can show you how to make them holy.
If you are looking for additional information, please do not hesitate to contact us.
By Jeannie Hannemann, M.A., Director, Elizabeth Ministry International
In the book of Genesis, we find God’s first commandment to humankind:"Be fruitful and multiply. . ." (Genesis 1:28) It
appears that God infused this commandment to procreate into the fiber of our beings. It seems to be written in our hearts,
dreamed of in our minds, ached for in our bodies, and yearned for in our spirits. Thus, when a couple is unable to have children,
it causes great pain emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually. The feelings of emptiness and loss are overwhelming.
The search for reasons and remedies becomes a relentless passion. Doctors, procedures, the time, the cost, the hope, and the
hurt are constant companions on the lonely road walked by couples searching for the destination of parenthood.
...One out of every five couples in America suffers from infertility problems
Statistics tell us that couples do not walk this road alone. According to the United States Centers for Disease Control, one out of
every five couples in America suffers from infertility problems. This means in the United States, 7.3 million women and their
partners, of childbearing years, are infertile. Infertility affects the male or female reproductive system with almost equal
frequency. Infertility affects people from every racial, ethnic, religious and socioeconomic level.
Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive within one year of trying, or not being able to carry a child to live birth.
Infertility may occur in a couple’s first attempts to bring a child into the world, or as secondary infertility when they have
successfully given birth before, but are not able to do so again. Women who are able to get pregnant, but have miscarriages, are
also said to be infertile.
Keep in mind that there are as many roads to resolving infertility as there are infertile couples to travel them. The array of
options and medical interventions for a couple facing fertility challenges can be confusing and hazardous. Each route brings
many ethical, moral, spiritual, emotional, and physical ramifications. It is important to plan carefully to avoid the potholes and
ensure a safe trip.
Start By Becoming Informed
Learning basic infertility information can put you on the road to further discovery. Contact a Natural Family Planning
specialist in your area who can help you identify the optimum time for conception. Familiarize yourself with infertility
treatment options. Couples who learn about various diagnostic tests, procedures, and medications are better able to make
informed decisions.
Get In Touch With Your Emotions
It is important to realize that infertility is more than just a physical condition. It also involves many emotional issues such as
intense feelings of anger, anxiety, frustration, helplessness, loneliness, grief, envy, and even depression. All these emotions can
be debilitating if you don’t face them and work to counteract them. You may want to seek support from a professional
counselor. Through counseling you can clarify your priorities, improve self concept and your coping skills.
Stay Connected To Your Spouse
Coping with the uncertainties of infertility, the roller coaster of emotions, the multitude of medical decisions and moral
concerns is challenging even for the strongest marriages. Infertility often causes lifestyle changes, reordering of priorities,
financial problems, intimacy issues, physical discomfort, career disruption, problems with relatives, and isolation from friends.
Since the stress of infertility can place a strain on your relationship, look for ways to nurture your marriage and make your
spouse your top priority.
Maintain Your Social Life
Certain events in everyday life may become difficult. The birth of a friend’s baby or even seeing a pregnant stranger can bring
on a flood of painful feelings. Holidays often seem to focus on children, and Mother’s Day or Father’s Day can be difficult.
Social functions like baby showers or children’s birthday parties are hard to attend. Many people struggling with infertility
problems find it hard to attend religious services, especially ones where there will be baptisms.
Many infertile couples try to navigate the twists and turns on the journey to parenthood without support. Seek out an infertility
support group to avoid isolation. Since the number of people with infertility problems is high, you may be amazed at the support
that is available.
Prepare a Response To Insensitive Comments
Those who struggle with infertility truly suffer greater physical, emotional, marital, and spiritual pain than most people can
imagine. Many parents of adult married children do not realize the pain caused by their questions and prods to conceive
grandchildren. Insensitive comments by family, friends and strangers can inflict deep wounds. Prepare a well rehearsed
response. You could take the direct approach and say, “We want children, but are having trouble. We are seeing a specialist and
ask for your prayers. We prefer not to talk about it.”
Make Important Decisions and Create A Plan
Construct an overall plan so you know where you are and where you’re headed. Start with the fact that you want to be parents.
Then ask what you are willing to do to make it happen. Make decisions that take into consideration your moral principles,
family building objectives, money, age and need for control. Find a doctor who agrees with your plan and can help. Be assertive
in stating what you want and do not want to do. You have the right to make your own decisions about treatment.
Begin by an honest acknowledgment of your feelings and the medical realities. You and your spouse are different people. You
will have different styles, feelings, attitudes and desires. Sharing your perspectives will help you decide which paths to take.
Sharing the turmoil of infertility will deepen your commitment to each other, whether you eventually give birth to a child, raise
a foster child, adopt a child, or don’t raise a child and spend time serving the broader community.
Answer these questions to help you make your plan.
 | What are you both willing to sacrifice to become parents? | |
| Do you know the teaching of your faith tradition on this issue? | |
| Do you want to respect the dignity of marriage and human life? | |
| How much physical and emotional trauma are you willing to endure? | |
| What tests do you want to have? | |
| How will you do the tests? | |
| What treatments will you explore? | |
| How many times will you repeat them? | |
| How much money will you spend? | |
| What doctor or clinic should you select? | |
| Will you put your life on hold as you focus on infertility treatments? | |
| When will you decide to quit trying? | |
| Is your main goal to be a biological parent or is it to have a child join your family? | |
| Are you going to focus on conception exclusively, or will you also pursue family- building through adoption? | |
| Would you adopt a baby, an older child or a child with special needs? | |
| Are you willing to be a family without children? |
Respect For The Sacredness of Life and Marriage
Couples dealing with infertility are often led step by step down a path that may possibly create life. However, many assisted
procedures begin.
Marital stress from the mood swings caused by some fertility drugs can tear apart a marriage that is already stressed from the
anxieties of infertility. Tension between spouses and fear of blame, if infertility can be traced clearly to one partner, can be
devastating for a couple. Medical practices that undermine the biological, psychological, and moral bonds of marriage, or have
the potential to destroy life, need to be avoided.
Use Caution
Couples are sometimes lured to assisted reproduction technology without investigating other options. The experience of
infertility has become politicized as scientists, medical professionals, and potential parents confront society’s mores and
religious perspectives. The wisdom of past generations is untapped as couples are encouraged to make these major life decisions
with little guidance.
Seek Spiritual Comfort and Wisdom
There are many questionable happenings on the road that scientists are paving for those suffering infertility. As reproductive
technology blazes trails through uncharted land, we are at a moral crossroads. First, seek God’s intervention before you embark
on this challenging path.
Pastoral support and care can offer comfort and helpful perspectives. Discuss options with your pastor, partake in blessing
rituals, learn religious teachings, and evaluate your options in light of this information. Seek out faith based support groups,
mentoring and spiritual direction. The faith community cannot take away your tears, but can show you how to make them holy.
If you are looking for additional information, please do not hesitate to contact us.
| Elizabeth Ministry International Chapter Headquarters – Retreat & Resource Center – Life & Loss Institute – KinCommunity Association 120 W. 8th Street Kaukauna, WI 54130 Fax: 920-766-1221 Phone: 920-766-9380 E-mail: info@elizabethministry.com Website: www.elizabethministry.com |
FERTILITY & INFERTILITY
Elizabeth Ministry celebrates the blessings of fertility and the comforts those facing the frustration of infertility
problems. It is a special journey couples take when they open to life and decide to accept new life in their marriage.
We also know that the journey to conception can sometimes be difficult and confusing. Elizabeth Ministry offers
information and support for couples desiring to better understand the amazing design
of God's gift of fertility.
Elizabeth Ministry celebrates the blessings of fertility and the comforts those facing the frustration of infertility
problems. It is a special journey couples take when they open to life and decide to accept new life in their marriage.
We also know that the journey to conception can sometimes be difficult and confusing. Elizabeth Ministry offers
information and support for couples desiring to better understand the amazing design
of God's gift of fertility.
FERTILITY AWARENESS & NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING LEARN MORE
Through NFP instruction, participants learn the functions of the reproductive aspect of
sexuality, which prepares them to have a better understanding of the scientific principles of
the natural methods. With this, they will be better able to fully appreciate the wonderful gift
of fertility and sexuality.
Less than 5% of couples who use Natural Family Planning have marriages which end in
divorce. Natural Family Planning is 97-99% effective when used to avoid pregnancy and
can assist those wanting to conceive. We offer information on the biochemistry of sexuality
with a Catholic perspective.
Through NFP instruction, participants learn the functions of the reproductive aspect of
sexuality, which prepares them to have a better understanding of the scientific principles of
the natural methods. With this, they will be better able to fully appreciate the wonderful gift
of fertility and sexuality.
Less than 5% of couples who use Natural Family Planning have marriages which end in
divorce. Natural Family Planning is 97-99% effective when used to avoid pregnancy and
can assist those wanting to conceive. We offer information on the biochemistry of sexuality
with a Catholic perspective.
INFERTILITY
About 12 percent of women (7.3 million) in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant
or carrying a baby to term. About one in every six couples suffer from infertility. The grief of
these couples can be devastating. We offer prayer, fertility blessings, support groups and
information on infertility treatment options. Today’s assisted reproductive technology is
tempting, however, most of the procedures are against Catholic teaching. We help couples
connect with health care workers who are trained in Naprotechnology. This method follows
Catholic teaching and has a higher success rate than IVF.
About 12 percent of women (7.3 million) in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant
or carrying a baby to term. About one in every six couples suffer from infertility. The grief of
these couples can be devastating. We offer prayer, fertility blessings, support groups and
information on infertility treatment options. Today’s assisted reproductive technology is
tempting, however, most of the procedures are against Catholic teaching. We help couples
connect with health care workers who are trained in Naprotechnology. This method follows
Catholic teaching and has a higher success rate than IVF.
| We honor all life, cherish children, encourage families, uplift marriages, and build community. |
| Elizabeth Ministry™ name and logo are trademarked. All Elizabeth Ministry resources are copyrighted. © 1996-2010, Elizabeth Ministry International. All rights reserved. Limited permission to use the name Elizabeth Ministry is granted when Elizabeth Ministry International Headquarters receives a signed registration form. (Chapter Registration Form is in the Leader’s Manual of the Elizabeth Ministry Starter Program.) © 2010 Elizabeth Ministry International. All rights reserved. |
| Our outreach is supported by generous donors and volunteers. As a 501(c)3 non-profit organization, tax-deductible donations and purchases from our on-line store are appreciated. “This website should not be interpreted as soliciting donations from persons in the following states: Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, D.C., Florida, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, N. Carolina, N. Dakota, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, S. Carolina, Utah, Virginia, W. Virginia, and Washington. If you have questions, please feel free to contact us.” |